For Stacy

(April 29, 1967-April 10, 2012)
Today, I went to the grocery store and had a good ol' fashioned "ugly cry" in the cereal aisle.  I am no stranger to crying in grocery stores.  Or cereal aisles.  The only difference this time was that you were not with me.  Do you remember, Stacy?  Crying together in front of neatly shelved Cocoa Puffs?

I remember many things...   

I remember when James and I loaded our ugly, thrift store furniture into a truck, boxed up all of our belongings, and moved into the neighborhood near your street.  You were one of the very first people to say, "Hello!"  But you didn't just say hello.  You wrapped your arms around my waist and kissed my cheek and made me feel like I had stepped into the sunshine.  It was warm and wonderful, and I knew we would be friends.  You were one of the first to love my family.  And you were easy to love in return.

You invited me on lunch dates with our lovely group of friends.  We would cackle about good looking vampires, embarrassing moments, or trips to the gynecologist.  One day, you introduced me to your favorite restaurant, Grinders--a greasy dive with big, mouth-watering sandwiches.  We ate lots of fries and giggled over the size of our diet sodas.  We laughed and cried over the silly and beautiful things in life.

You always made me laugh.  You knew how to light up a room.  You rubbed my tummy when I was pregnant with Camren.  You frequently told me I looked pretty. 

I remember when you welcomed my little family into your home one Halloween night.  We came trick-or-treating, expecting a package of Smarties or a miniature candy bar.  Instead, you fed us homemade chili and sent us home with a loaf of french bread and a plate full of cake.   That's how you were--always so selfless, willing to give to the people around you.

You made me feel like I was enough--easily accepting me for me.  You would sit by me in church, and hold my hand like a sister.  I never doubted that I mattered to you, or that I was truly treasured.

And lastly, you were the one to share my sadness; the one who cried with me in that cereal aisle.  Camren was just six weeks old, and I was overwhelmed and exhausted.  I confided in you that I didn't know how to juggle being a mother to two small children.  It was busy, hard work, and I didn't think I could do it well.  I felt alone.  We cried, embraced beside our carts, and scared many of the (wide-eyed) shoppers who had come to the store that day!  I will never forget what you told me.  You looked me in the eye and poignantly said, "Things are going to get better.  You are an incredible mother, and I know you can do this.  You can.  You were born to do this.  I love you and I will be praying for you."

Kahlil Gibran, the Lebanese-American poet (and my favorite), wrote:  "When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."

You were a delight, my dear, dear friend, as was your genuine friendship.  My life has been exponentially blessed--my world made more joyful--because you have been a precious part of it.  Oh, to feel your kisses on my cheeks once more, to hear your laughter, to sit beside you!  I look forward to the day when I will embrace you again.  (Are there cereal aisles and grocery stores in heaven?!)

Until then, I will carry your memory with me--keeping it close to my heart for my lifetime.

I want you to know that I'll miss you so much.
I want you to know that I love you.


  1. Wow Aleisha! This is so powerful. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. She sounds like an amazing woman. I myself love Grinders so that's dang cool. :) You are a sweet friend. Thank you for sharing this with us. xoxo

  2. I'm so sorry for your loss; I don't know her, but I wish I did. Everyone needs a friend like that. Beautifully written.

  3. Oh, honey. I am so, so sorry you have lost such a dear friend. She sounds like such an amazing person who blessed everyone with her presence. I hope you can find comfort in your family, and maybe it's time to break out that dusty, well-worn copy of The Prophet again, huh?

    1. Dearest Sarah Kate! I adore you! I hope I am the first one to hear about it when you read The Prophet. You're beautiful!

  4. Thank you so much for saying the things that are in my heartm but couldn't put into words.

  5. Oh man, how are we going to get through this? I miss her so much. This was beautifully written. I love you and am thankful that I have you. It will get better.

  6. Simply beautiful! Thank you!

  7. What a beautiful tribute! She sounds like an incredible person and friend.

  8. Lovely tribute! We lost a lovely older lady in church on that same day. Heaven is sweeter for sure.

    1. JENNIFER!!!!! I have missed you! Thanks for stopping by and for commenting. You're a sweetheart!

  9. oh aleisha, i am in tears.
    i am incredibly sorry for the loss of your friend. she was more than blessed to have you in her life. i am certain she is smiling down on you and feeling every bit of your love.
    what an amazing post...and an amazing friendship the two of you shared.
    you will be in my prayers, wonderful mama leisha <3
    you always are.
    take it easy and hold onto all the memories. <3<3<3

    i miss you.
    i wore "our ring" today.

    i love you

  10. I am so sorry to read about the sad loss of someone so physically beautiful and of course beautiful in every other way imaginable, to you, your family and no doubt her own family too.
    I can't imagine losing someone so precious like that.
    Thinking of you friend xo

  11. I came across your blog through a blog hop - and I was debating commenting on this post. But ... my prayer for you and everyone who knew your friend is that the good memories of your dear friend overcome the pain you are feeling from her passing. This is a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing it.

    1. Sweet Sara! I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to write such a kind comment on this post. I appreciate it so much! There was no need to debate commenting, as I am VERY glad that you did. Thank you for your goodness and love. All my best, Aleisha

  12. I too, like Sara, came across your blog through a blog hop, and like her, I was wondering whether I should comment on this post. She sounds like a wonderful friend and I cannot begin to imagine the pain you are going through right now.
    All I can say is that you have written a beautiful tribute to her and to always think of the good memories, not the bad ones.

    Thanks for sharing such a beautiful post, thinking of you.


    1. Dearest Bex! I am so grateful that you did, in fact, comment on this post. Such lovely you things you said, and I wanted you to know that I appreciated them! Thank you so much for reaching out to me and for taking the time to comment. You are wonderful and I hope you have a great weekend.

  13. Oh Aleisha...I am so, so terribly sorry! Your friend is absolutely beautiful, and I am sitting here crying at your beautiful words. I can only offer my love and prayers to you during this difficult loss. You are such an amazing person, and I love that you wanted to honor her in such a special way. I'm really bad at things like this, so forgive me. But I love ya and am thinking about you and your precious friend's family.




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