A Letter To My Nineteen-Year-Old Self

Dear Aleisha at 19 years,

You've been dating "Jason" (name has been changed to protect the idiotic) for a while now.  He tirelessly pursued you--doted on you as if you were the only chick on the planet--and within a matter of months...Bam!...you were an inseparable item.  Now, you are preparing to celebrate Valentine's Day together.  Dinner reservations will be made, a piano concert will follow pasta, and there will be hot "canoodling" before the night's end.  He'll give you roses and a ridiculously stupid, plush cow the size of a wheelbarrow, and you'll think he's pretty terrific.

But don't be fooled.

Don't be fooled by his "rico suave" good looks, or by the sweet-nothings he whispers into your ear.  Don't be fooled by his extensive knowledge of Tupac, or the way he smiles when you walk into a room.  Truth be told, he visits the tanning beds regularly, kisses his biceps before bedtime, and is enamored with his Toyota Corolla.  (A Corolla?!)  Don't be fooled into thinking you are in love with him...

Because he's been sucking face with "Melinda" (name has been changed to protect the ugly) behind the Coke machines in her office's break room.  Yep, the girl with no personality, bad highlights, heavy makeup, and a nose that resembles a bird's beak.  Melinda and Jason have been sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G for a while now.

I know you, and I know you've got a tender heart.  I know when the blinding shock of betrayal wears off your feelings will be hurt.  Naturally, you'll want to cry and cry...but can I offer a bit of advice?

Don't waste your time crying over a boy who wasn't good enough for you, who was NEVER good enough for you.  It doesn't seem possible now, but time and faith will be the glue that will put your broken pieces back together.  You'll walk away from "Tupac and Corollas" a stronger woman.

Oh, there will be others.  Other boys.  Other stolen kisses.  Other love notes.  Other romances.  Other late night talks in campus parking lots.  There will be flirting in library cubicles and hand-holding in movie theaters.  There will be first dates and last dates.  Other break-ups.  Other heart breaks.  With the end of each relationship, you'll learn something valuable about yourself.  You'll become a better version of  yourself.  You'll learn more about what you want and deserve in a companion.  You'll resign yourself to never settle.

And you won't.

He'll have dark brown eyes that will knock you off your feet, and a kind smile that will melt your heart to a puddle.  He'll be tall and lanky.  He'll be smart and athletic.  He'll laugh at your jokes.  He'll have nice lips.  He'll kiss you so you feel it in your kneecaps.  He'll propose marriage.  He'll whisper, "You're beautiful," on your wedding day.  He'll take care of you and support you in times of trial.  He'll be patient.  He'll cry when your beautiful daughter is born.  His face will radiate joy when you welcome a son into the world.  He'll teach you all about what real love is; what it means to trust it, to feel it in your core.  I know you think you know about all of that already, but Girl, it hasn't even hit you yet.

It will.

In the meantime, Happy Valentine's Day.  Take care of that heart of yours.  It's a good one.
Aleisha at 31 years 



  1. you are so beautiful!!! and you got two beautiful kids and a really gorgeous and loving husband too... you are so blessed to have them... seems may have been rough at times in your life but God has been good to you coz He has given you so much and you deserve it sweetie... love your blog!!! following you now.. hope you could visit my blog too.. kisses!!!

  2. ohhhhhh, how perfect for me to read this after our wonderful conversation!!!! seriously...just perfect!! i LOVE it!!
    i'm smiling so big right now...even smirking a bit. :)

    you've got yourself one great man. and he's got himself one great woman.

    those photos are fantastic. the cute, funny face one of him and lilly...cute camren crying and james' expression...the "open eyes" shot!

    big tacohead smooches to you <3
    and black bean hugs!!
    te amo mucho, mi amiga

  3. ps - i had the tupac special edition double cd back in my overall wearing days.
    california love, baby!

  4. You two are a gorgeous couple Aleisha and the love within your little family is so evident in everything you do and say and share with us!!
    Thanks for sharing your letter, oh the things I would say to myself!!! Gosh, where to begin...;)
    Luv you gorgeous girl xo

  5. Um, *hangs head*, I know I have not been in blog land very faithfully these last few weeks...months...but, I am right here to apologize!!!

    This blog post made me CRYYYYYYYYYY, and I swear, it is sooo true, and I so get it! My EX-BUTTFACE of a boyfriend, cheated on me with my best friend for a verrryyy long time behind my back. And I remember the pain, the tears, all that you so eloquently described above.... and the truth is, I wish I could have handed this letter to myself at 19 :) It could have saved me a lot of worry. LOL!

    You're a doll! And I've sooo missed your blog. Now...if the kids sleep, maybe I can catch up!




  6. Ok Leish -- you made me cry and I'm at work! The co-workers are staring at me, afraid to say anything. The boss has made a wide path around my desk. My nose and the mascara are running - running - running. This blog was incredibly sweet. You and McHubby are perfect for each other. Love ya girl ~ A.C.

  7. Aleisha, I love this!! You have such great posts. :)

  8. such a great post! :D happy valentine's day to you both :D

  9. This is an awesome post! I love it! I'm a new follower :)

  10. New follower as well, here. This seriously brought tears to my eyes as well. I wish we could somehow impart this wisdom to our girls. I have two; seventeen and thirteen and the older one is so tender hearted... *sigh


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